Rapala Pro Fishing is one of the best fishing video games ever. That is a bit like being one of the best-smelling tackle boxes ever, which is to say that it is impressive in a way that will only appeal to the deeply committed insider. To everyone else it will come off as a strange and boring way to waste time that might otherwise have been spent on something more fun, like flossing or watching The National.

People play video games for one of two reasons. Either they want to experience a digital simulation of something they cannot experience in actual life (life as an NFL quarterback, say), or they are chasing a uniquely video-gamey play experience (sometimes called "thumb candy") that has no real-world analogue. Where does virtual fishing fit into this? It does not.

Here is the thing about fishing. It is dull. It is great stretches of time where nothing happens at all. It is sitting on a tackle box for three hours in the blazing sun, sipping warm beer and observing to boaters-by that you haven't had a nibble since late morning. It is breaking 20 minutes of silence by saying "yep" to no-one in particular. It is trying to reconcile yourself to the boredom – indeed, trying to convince yourself that you are not bored at all – by announcing that "it doesn't get any better than this." It is the positive reinforcement of you peers, who all signal their agreement that, no, it doesn't get any better than this by grunting "yep" in near-unison.

All this is to say that fishing is as much about hanging out over a six-pack, savouring the sloth and the not thinking about work, as it is about actually catching actual fish. Virtual fishing misses the point. Or, rather, virtual fishing that tries hard to offer a realistic simulation of real-world fishing misses the point. If a good game designer came up with a fun way to twiddle joysticks and tap buttons, and then gradually worked up a fishing-related reason for you to engage in said twiddling and tapping, the result might be a pretty good game. But that is not what happened here, and Rapala Pro Fishing is not a good video game.

You begin play by climbing into a boat with one of your friends. He does not like to fish, but he does like to give advice. He is like a one-person Greek chorus, offering inane commentary on everything you do and babbling to fill the air when you do not do anything. When you stop the boat in a little cove that looks like a promising spot for bass, he observes that this looks like a nice spot for bass. When you cast poorly and your lure plunks into the water just metres away from your boat, he tells you that that wasn't much of a cast. When you try to hook him in the ear, just to get him to shut up, he tells you that you nearly took off his head with that. He is super annoying. You will want to punch him in the nose. He does not even have a Southern accent.

Now, the actual (er, virtual) fishing. You cast your lure by tilting the joystick back and tugging on one of the triggers. This takes a little practice, but it will not be long before you have mastered it and you can regularly toss out 90 feet of line. Once the hook hits the water, the camera switches to an underwater view, following your lure as you reel it in. You will be pleased to see that your line and your lure have the power to pass through both solid rock and lake vegetation.

Just like in real life, you will have to be patient while you wait for a bite. Eventually a fish will swim up and take the bait, and you will reel it in. Then you will throw it back. If you are persistent you will fiddle with different lures and rods. You will yawn. No one will say "yep" to you.