Apparently there is a new Star Wars movie out. George Lucas has been good enough to promise that it will be the last, although that is frankly tough to believe. If you were sitting on top of a merchandising and action-figure empire like that, and if anytime you wanted you could make yourself a fresh fortune, would you be able to walk away from it? Maybe you would. But you are not George Lucas, are you?

George Lucas's enormous wealth is growing vastly larger with every minute that passes this week, as moviegoers take in the new flick, and also as legions of pasty and becloaked Star Wars fans rush out to buy toys and action figures and video games such as this one. Many fans and collectors are completionists, which is to say that they like to have one of everything. Even if they bought Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith for Game Boy Advance yesterday, they will happily pay full price today to own the game of the same name for Nintendo DS.

That is really too bad for them and for everyone else who is not George Lucas, because the two games are nearly identical. Or, rather, Episode III for Nintendo DS is what you get when you take Episode III for Game Boy Advance and throw in a few extra levels where you get to fly a spaceship around. It is Episode 3.1.

If you are OK with that, either because you are not a completionist or because you have lots of money, you will probably like the DS game. It is full of swinging lightsabers and blaster fire, and it almost never gives you a break. Fight fight fight shoot shoot shoot and that's all. But the pacing is good and the enemies are a nice mix of wimpy and fierce, and when it is over you will spend a few minutes remembering it fondly. Then you will put it in a shoebox with your other Star Wars investments and never think of it again. You will probably be OK with that too.

Here is how it works. You are either Obi-Wan Kenobi or Anakin Skywalker. Because the galaxy is in grave peril, you must walk to the right and beat up everyone you meet. Occasionally, for a change, you must fly a spaceship around and shoot other spaceships. But mostly you walk to the right and the enemies walk to the left and you meet in the middle, where there is violence. Games that follow this formula are usually called "side-scrollers" or "beat-em-ups." You have probably played dozens of them, even if you don't like video games. They are ubiquitous. They are generic. They are commodities. It is very rare for a side-scrolling beat-em-up game to distinguish itself. Episode III does not distinguish itself.

Maybe the problem is with Star Wars itself. Years ago, back when a whooshing laser sword was a fresh idea, we were all happy and amazed every time anyone had cause to pull one out. We loved that angry humming sound it made. We wondered what terrible injuries it would inflict on anyone who got in its way. It was an elegant and terrifying thing, the lightsaber. We wanted one of our own. But now we are jaded about lightsabers, and we don't notice the noises so much anymore, and not even a video game stuffed completely full of lightsaber fights can bring back the old magic. It is over.

If you play as Anakin Skywalker you do bad things. As Obi-Wan Kenobi, you fight for justice. Either way, you are just a little guy in jodhpurs and a wraparound tunic, waving a blue truncheon and smashing stuff.